You can’t live with abuse and not be affected. The longer you are in the relationship and the more your life is intertwined with the abused, the more you are affected.
Here are some of the characteristics that abused people often have:

• A loss of spontaneity.
• A loss of a sense of self.
• Hyper-vigilance and walking on eggshells.
• Confusion about the relationship.
• The need to replay events and conversations to figure out why the abuse occurred.
• A feeling of being off-balance and unsteady especially after an abusive incident.
• An inability to function in daily activities.
• Depression and hopelessness.
• Low self-esteem.
• Shame over what is occurring.
• Anxiety, worry, and fear
• Invalidation of one’s own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and perceptions and believing the abuser’s perceptions over one’s own.
• Cycles of hope, disappointment and despair.
• A loss of confidence in all areas.
• Dreaming about leaving the relationship, but unable to follow through.
• A feeling of being trapped.
• Acceptance that the relationship problems are their fault.