Some Christians say things about emotions that lead us to think that some feelings are acceptable, and others aren’t. Because of these misunderstandings about emotions (in normal type), we internalize the following wrong beliefs (in italics):

• It’s OK to be joyful; it’s not OK to be depressed. “I need to be happy on the outside even when I am sad on the inside.” “If I am depressed, I am in sin.”
• It’s OK to trust God during a crisis; it’s not OK to be afraid in a crisis. “I cannot articulate my fear. I can only articulate that I am trusting God, and everything will be OK.”
• It’s OK to say I am weak and incapable; it’s not OK to say I am confident and skilled. “I cannot take any credit for anything I do well. I have to give all the praise and glory to God instead.”
• It’s OK to say I am doing well; it’s not OK to say I am struggling. “I will only share good things. I will not share my problems.”
• It’s OK to say I believe in God, Jesus, and his promises. It is not OK to share my doubts. “I must pretend that my faith is always strong even in very difficult times.”
• It’s OK to say I am humble; it’s not OK to say I am proud. “I can never feel good about anything I do well. I will pretend I don’t have any accomplishments.”
• It’s OK to say I forgive; it’s not OK to vent about the pain others have caused me. “I will not share what has happened and is happening to me with anyone in the church.”
• It’s OK to say I have forgotten the past; It’s not OK to say memories trouble me. “I will not share my wounds with anyone in the church.”
• It’s OK to say Jesus is enough; it’s not OK to admit to being lonely, sad, needy, disappointed, or jealous. “I will not admit I have unmet needs.”

 
The Bible has many examples of people openly expressing their feelings that disprove these beliefs. Here are some examples of emotional honesty in the Bible:

• David poured out his heart to God about everything he felt in the Psalms. He admitted to being angry, vengeful, depressed, happy, guilt-ridden, fearful, and more.
• Jesus asked God to remove his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane in anticipation of the pain (Matthew 26:36-44).
• Jesus told the man to believe he could be healed and when the man asked Jesus to help his unbelief, Jesus healed him so he could believe rather than rebuke his unbelief. (Mark 9:24-25)
• God talked about his feelings of anger, jealousy, and regret toward Israel when she was unfaithful to him.
• Paul admitted that he was sick and asked God to heal him (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). He admitted to being overwhelmed even to the point of death from the trials and persecutions (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). He also admitted he had unmet needs (Philippians 4:14-16).
• Paul tells us to comfort others from the comfort we have received from God in our troubles. If we weren’t supposed to be honest about our troubles, we wouldn’t have been able to receive the comfort we are supposed to give to others. And if they can’t be honest, how will we know to comfort them? (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
• Jesus tells us to come to him when we are heavily laden to get rest. If we are not supposed to admit we are struggling, why didn’t he reprimand us for admitting we aren’t doing OK? (Matthew 11:28)
• James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins [weaknesses] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Why is it OK to admit what we need prayer for, especially when it is our sins and weaknesses?

 
When you consider these biblical examples of emotional honesty, you can see how those beliefs are misguided and incorrect; yet they put people who are legalistically shamed by them in bondage.
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,
 
Help me correct these Christian misbeliefs about emotions so I can live freely and be honest with myself, you, and others. I want to walk in truth.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Read the Christian misbeliefs about emotions and identify the ones you hold.
• Analyze them and correct the misbeliefs now.

Scripture Meditation

 
Galatians 5:1-2

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (NIV).