Red flags are signs that a person is unhealthy, and you should consider putting a halt to the relationship or at least stop and look at what you are seeing. I teach relationship classes with women who have been in abusive relationships, foster homes, and prison. I teach them about abuse, manipulation, and other dysfunctional patterns. They love learning about what they have been through because it makes sense of their past and the confusion and self-doubt they experienced. Inevitably, they ask me to talk to them about what a healthy relationship looks like.

When people are taught to recognize counterfeit bills, they do so by studying the real bills. Once they can identify every part of the legitimate bill, they can easily spot a fake.

It makes sense to consider what you would see that would tell you that a person and relationship are healthy, and you can feel comfortable moving forward and getting close to the person.

What are some green flags to watch for?

• The person listens well and seeks to understand what you are feeling and saying.
• The person takes responsibility for their own feelings and actions.
• person can resolve conflict.
• The person gives in the relationship but is also comfortable asking for what is needed.
• The person is enjoyable for you to be with.
• The person tolerates different opinions and beliefs.
• The person is free from active addictions.
• The person is honest and trustworthy.
• The person can set goals and work toward them with self-discipline.
• The person can feel, identify, and manage their emotions.
• The person respects your boundaries.

When you see the green flags, it doesn’t guarantee that everything is okay, but it is an indication that you can continue forward with your eyes wide open.
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,
 
Help me to be open to not only seeing red flags but green flags in my relationships. I want to know that there are healthy people in the world, and I want to open my heart to them.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• Which do you see first: red flags or green flags?
• Evaluate one of your relationships by checking to see if these green flags are present.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 4:5-6

Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you (NIV).