Jealousy is indeed a strong emotion that infects and affects a relationship. Jealousy can be felt toward anyone: friends, siblings, parents, spouses, co-workers, children, and others. Except for the jealousy that should be felt toward someone your partner is cheating on you with, you need to deal with your jealousy and not let it infect your relationships. You can accomplish this by doing these five things:

1. Discover the root. Jealousy is a feeling and behind the feeling are specific triggers. Ask yourself these questions: What are you jealous about? When does it happen? When did it begin? Are you jealous in most of your relationships or just this one? How does the jealousy affect the relationship? Some jealousy roots are insecurity, envy, competition, fear of loss, control, and self-pity.
2. Get a life. Jealousy is focused on something you want and don’t have or have and are fearful of losing. Your fears over losing what you have will drive you to act in ways that will sabotage the relationship and increase the chances it won’t work. The key is to get a life. Do whatever you can to move yourself toward what you truly want.
3. Deal with your control issues. Jealousy is linked to the belief that you have a right to control. What other people have or do is between them and God. In Matthew 20, Jesus told a parable of some employees who were upset that the other employees got equal wages for less work. Jesus told them the only thing that mattered was that the individual agreements were honored. It wasn’t any of their business what another person got.
4. Change your perspective. Gratitude for what you have helps you to let go of the focus on what you don’t have. When you compare yourself to others, you will find that you are better than or worse than others, depending on whom you chose to compare yourself to. Instead, be thankful for what you have.
5. Deal with your sense of entitlement. The part of jealousy that is related to possessiveness of another person is rooted in the belief that you are entitled to that person’s time, attention, resources, or love. Except in matters relating to your partner’s loyalty, you don’t own anyone else exclusively. You cannot expect them to spend all their resources and energy on you.

By Karla Downing
 

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to let go of my jealousy.
 

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• What do you need to do to get over your jealousy?
• Commit to doing it.

Scripture Meditation

 
Proverbs 27:4

“Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” (NIV)

Galatians 5:19-21

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God” (NIV).
Jealousy is one of the acts of the flesh.