A king was owed 10,000 talents by one of his servants. The king summoned the man and demanded that he sell his possessions, children, wife, and himself to repay the debt. The man fell to his knees and begged the king to give him time to pay instead. The king extended mercy and forgave the man his debt. When the man left, he ran into a man who owed him a hundred denarii and demanded the man pay him. The man fell to his knees and begged for time to pay. The man refused and had him sent to prison. When this was reported to the king, he brought the man before him and told him that he should have extended the same mercy granted him to his fellow man. Since he didn’t, the king had him thrown into prison until the debt was paid (Matthew 18:23-35).

Jesus had just finished telling the disciples that they were to go to a person who sinned against them to confront them with their sin (Matthew 18:15). Peter then asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times,” or as in another translation, “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:21-22). Jesus then continued with the parable of the unmerciful servant.

The Jews taught that you were to forgive someone three more times for an offense but not four. Peter guessed that Jesus might want them to do it even more, perhaps seven times. Jesus said it was to be seventy times seven or seventy-seven, both of which implied an unlimited number.

This presents a problem when you are in a relationship with someone who is willing to continue to hurt you. If you believe that you must continue to forgive, then you may also believe that you have to continue to tolerate the mistreatment. People ask me, “How do I forgive someone when they are continuing to do the same thing to me?”  The answer: Forgiveness is the willingness to give up the right to get even. You always have to do that, but when someone is continuing to do the same thing to you, set boundaries to set a standard for what is the right way to treat you in the future. The issue becomes figuring out what boundary you need to set.

When you look at the context of this verse, you have to recognize that the reason Peter asked Jesus how many times to forgive is because Jesus had just told the disciples to confront people who sin against them. Forgiveness followed making a stand for what is right in a relationship.

By Karla Downing

Relationship Devotional Prayer

 
God,

Help me to extend mercy to others since you have extended mercy to me. Help me to also set a standard for righteousness by confronting others when they sin against me by setting boundaries to show them what is right.

Relationship Devotional Challenge

• If someone is continuing to mistreat you so that you are forgiving the same thing over and over, figure out what boundary you need to set in order to show what right treatment is expected.

Scripture Meditation

 
Matthew 18:15

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over” (NIV).

Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times’” (NIV).